Finally Learning to Dress Myself

I.  Putting Pants on One Leg at a Time

The first time I considered writing this post was a few weeks ago.  It was one of those comical movie moments where the main character wakes up to an alarm.  This segment is edited to show that character get up out of his/her bed to smack the snooze, but only to immediately fall back into bed.  This segment is a series of quick cuts of the same process, different moments in chronological order.  This would clearly demonstrate defying the purpose of having the alarm not upon the nightstand.  Finally, the character says to Hell with it, or damn it to Hell, or it’s gonna be one Hell of a day, or something along those lines.

Dragging their feet to the bathroom, after flicking on the light, they simply stare into the mirror, zooming in and zooming out, or leaning in and leaning away, from the mirror.  You’re pathetic, they say.  Looking closer into the mirror:  What the Hell is with all these lines? 

To shave, or not to shave?

The whole concept of picking/deciding on one’s style, my own style, was determined by the simple fact of office dress policy.  If it’s 80 and above, considering there are no events to attend to, it is allowable to wear a polo. 

Here is a drawing for the visual learners:

However, that’s my daily fashion.  It’s pretty standard, but I cannot complain in the least bit.  I really enjoy wearing ties, and it’s almost teetering on obsession.  I’ll get to that in a bit.
The second time I considered writing a fashion-related entry was when I looked in my drawer, and I could not decide what to wear.  Typical.  However, my looking through my drawer included my sifting through T-shirt after T-shirt, growing frustrated with the options I had.  These are stupid college shirts, I said out loud.  The graphic shirts are definitely immature to the point where I thought to myself, questioning the thought process upon purchasing those. 
I am still keeping the Modeling is for Posers shirt, due to it’s significant history.  However, for the rest, I am failing to see the humor.  I see the humor, but I don’t find the shirts funny as I used to.
The third instance included my going out and actually purchasing new clothing, and the fourth consideration was the other day, wondering what I was going to wear for this upcoming weekend.  What do people in Atlantic City, let alone New Jersey, wear?
Yesterday, however, was the kicker.  The reason I am writing this is because of my coworker’s decision to rock a bow tie.  The fact he could pull it off was uplifting for me, inspiring even.  As it stands, the thought to wear one had and still crosses my mind; however, there can be only one “Bow Tie Guy,” and Alex beat me to the punch, fair and square.  Ergo:  “He who hesitates is lost.”
II.  Band T’s and Baggy Jeans
In the beginning, when style was actually considered important was in the sixth grade.  Us elementary kids were finally moving up the ladder, to a new level, upon entering middle school.  The East Hill kids seemed to have a one up on us Split Rock grads, because I noticed them wearing more grungier styled clothing than us seemingly clean-cut kids from the other elementary school. 
So, it began.
I think the first band T-shirt I ever got… Wait, never mind that.  I don’t remember the first band T-shirt I ever got.  However, I was donning a blue 311 shirt (which kids gave me shit for, highlighting the numerical misconstrued notion the band’s name falsely represented), The Beatles, and R.E.M.  Yes, I was and still am a huge R.E.M. fan.  Everyone else had their Green Day, The Offspring, Grateful Dead, Nirvana, etc. shirts that seemed to be the latest trend. 
Sun-In used to be cool, too; everyone wanted to lighten their hair, or frost the tips.  Sun-In simply turned my hair orange.  There is proof; I know there are pictures shared between the Kennedy and Malone households, capturing Brian and I studying for a Regents exam.  Oh, let’s not forget about my orange hair.
Regents? Wait, that was high school.  Jeez, I was such a dork.  Yet, I am getting ahead of myself.
School dances were the thing to go to in middle school, donning band T’s and baggy jeans.  Most of the guys went to the open gym to play basketball.  Some guys would hang out and actually try and dance.  We didn’t know much in middle school.  Then there was this blog’s author who took it upon himself to run away when asked to dance.  I was such a dork.
However, there was a plethora of junk food for us to purchase; it was bad enough the dances went to 11 or 12, but the food kept us up way later than our parents would have liked.  On top of it, it was a hike to drive all the way out to Camillus Middle from our houses during the winter time.  Oh, how our parents tolerated us kids. 
We’re forever grateful.
Meshing middle school and high school:  the time span covered the entire 90’s.  I may be dating myself/ourselves, but let’s face the facts.  We all go through those awkward phases when growing up.  When you consider the 90’s, that decade was chronologically the awkward ages, stemming from the desperation of fixing whatever messes occurred during the 80’s.  My seasoned readers really are going to shake their fist at me for that comment.  That’s life.  I was a child of the 80’s, so don’t hate on me.  My peers and I simply followed your lead, letting you make the fashion mistakes for us. 
Yet, we could pick our own clothes out, and these kid pictures we have of ourselves…yeesh…
When high school hit, clothes were slowly evolving to the sensible nature.  We still wore our baggy jeans, button down shirts became a trend, and there was some stint with Hawaiian shirts.  I don’t remember how the latter came about; the style crashed the high school style party.  I do remember sifting through clothes, asking myself what I was thinking.
In college, the clothing style became more fitted, and I found myself sifting through my closet again, slapping myself on the forehead:  stupid, stupid, stupid.  It was time for better fitting clothes.  It helped that I was friends with a handful of individuals in the fashion club; I could safely ask what worked and what did not.
By senior year, my style significantly changed.  I wore “funny,” fitted shirts, and slimmer jeans.  The baggy jeans were a thing of the past, because I no longer wanted to rock out in an alternative/metal/alternative metal band. Thankfully, I was no longer wearing a backwards visor either. 
III.  Keeping It Simple
Flashing forward to present day, we can all admit the clothing styles, no matter the genre, have all become fitted and more snug.  Trying to come to terms with the times, I tried on a pair of skinny jeans on more than one occasion.  Unfortunately, to my dismay, the style has not changed, yet, and there are only certain individuals–men, specifically–who can pull the skinny jeans off.  Due to how the jeans fit, like opposite poles on a magnet, political affiliations, as opposites have tendencies to contradict one another, astonished to offended, I would be:  (a) getting massive compliments, or (b) getting massive complaints.  It depends on how you look at it.
The skinny jeans style started popping up after my college years, but I was working three jobs every day of the week for two years.  I was too busy to focus on “style.”  It was slacks during the day, jeans at night, and slacks on the weekend.  Shorts would be thrown into the situation when the weather was appropriate.  I’d be too burnt out at the end of the day to not care.  I wouldn’t even change out of my work clothes, lounging around in the slacks and shirt I had wore that day. 
I didn’t even know what comfy clothes were until I met Sarah, who had a difficult time of breaking me of that habit.  I remember the first time she exclaimed about changing into the attire; I looked at her with no idea as to what she was talking about.  Sarah’s elated persona simmered, due to her not understanding my disbelief in wearing something appropriate to lounge around in.  This style is a projection of the socially acceptable getup worn around college campuses:  T-shirt or hoodie paired with mesh shorts or sweat pants, and let’s not forget walking around in flip flops. 
But it was within the last couple months where I have been going through my clothes, singing, “No, no, no, no… No, no, no, no,” in the tune of that all-too-common doorbell or clock chime.  My adventures to Marshalls and Target have been successful in my limitations for spending and style.
I’m turning myself into a plain T-shirt kind of guy, or dressy.  It is one extreme, an extreme middle, and/or the other.  I am far too comfortable in a shirt and tie, so I will keep it going.  Wearing what I had to trivia, walking around like a crazy person still decked out nicely… it’s a confidence thing.  If dressing up yields confidence, why fix something if it isn’t broken?  If I am not donning those, I will be simply wearing pants or jeans with a simplistic shirt.  Of course, I am keeping my slip-ons and Converse at my feet.  Literally.  The dress shoes have been working out for the better, however.  It’s just adjusting myself to want to wear the comfy clothes whenever the situation is more necessary than appropriate.
I mean, I still have the semi-comical shirts and a few band T-shirts, but they aren’t obnoxious. I will be keeping those around.  Those aren’t the problem.  This is the same for my ever growing tie collection.  The problem is, however, wanting to wear a specific tie and basing your outfit around that item, or you don’t know which tie to decide on. 
IV.  Resolution
I could go on, but I am trying to edit myself from here on out.  It’s all part of my taking on another project.  This will be discussed later…

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