Not Knowing the Not Knowing

How does The Idiot know he’s an idiot?  The Fool a fool?  The Coward a coward?

Sure, confidence may play a part in all of this, but it isn’t necessarily the driving force behind contradicting a person’s foolish qualities.  It was Alexander Pope (to my knowledge), who said, “To err is human.”  No one is perfect.  Those who believe they are have another thing coming.  The second half of Pope’s quote, “to forgive, divine,” is difficult for those feeling perfect individuals.  These people with high-and-mighty attitudes, carrying the diluted notion that if they stay away from whatever critical situation–although this situation is crucial to that said person–and someone else shits the bed with it under their wing, the individual–aptly refered to as the bottom run–will be entirely to blame.  In this case, the higher-up, who is supposed to be watching over everything, thinks others are to blame when it’s their fault (or not necessarily their fault in many aspects) in the grand scheme of things.

How is that bottom rung expected to ask questions if they don’t know something when they don’t realize they are doing something wrong?

The comment about the psychic, specifically on my getting the hell out of Dodge, had a bit of facetious flavor to it.  I’ve wanted to leave Syracuse, as much as I love it, for a while.  Traveling each year from 2007 to 2010, enjoying every moment of it despite the nine-day excursions not being long enough, helped me realize a side of myself that was unknown.  Maybe the hints of an inner desire to explore were apparent, but they weren’t noticeable to me.  If I/nobody can feed the desire to explore, there is no point to living.

I was supposed to go to India in late 2010, but Loretto made cutbacks that entire year.  My position/title was eliminated.  There was a person hired on to fill my seat, but that’s neither here nor there.  My coworkers were more than enjoyable, and I am glad I keep in touch with them today.  Job kept or job lost, no matter, I still met Sarah; it would have been difficult leaving for India for two months when six months into a relationship.

Let’s be honest here, Central New Yorkers.

Syracuse is doing better.  The city is on the up-and-up.  However, the media, news outlets and (what’s left of) The Post-Standard, seems to focus more on businesses closing rather than the businesses coming in.  This needs to be reworked.  A beautifully-placed hotel is in Armory Square, being finalized.  I truly believe a revitalization plan for Hotel Syracuse needs to be put into motion.  For those who have lived in Syracuse most of their lives understand the copious amount of housing/apartments springing up; we all know, especially us individuals who know Syracuse, these apartments are far too expensive than they really should be.  New and improved should not mean jack up the prices of living.  There still is no grocery store in walking proximity in the downtown area.

There is a Tuesday afternoon farmer’s market, but that once-a-week-and-for-limited-hours-window is not going to cut it.

Another benefit, which I mention quite a bit, is the number of activities to do in Syracuse.  We have a zoo, a science museum, an under-utilized art museum, and festivals take place every weekend.  Aside the festivals and to compensate when the weather is atrocious (it’s been raining  quite a bit lately), there are a plethora of other things to do.  The Palace Theater holds Brew-and-View double and triple features.  The CNY Playhouse in Shoppingtown Mall holds improv shows, local stand up comedians, cabarets, and plays and musicals.  We have a baseball stadium, we have a hockey team, we have indoor soccer, and we have three colleges with great sports teams.  We have a bocce league.  There are several venues to listen to live music, and there are plenty of pubs and restaurants that have live music more than three nights a week.

There is a plethora of locally-focused individuals and groups, encouraging and spreading the word to buy and support local.  There are so many of you out there.  There are even new Syracuse-based initiatives and groups that promote the vitality of Syracuse.  Some of this may seem redundant, but it’s a good kind of redundant.  People forget what is out there.

The Weekend insert of Thursday’s edition of The Post-Standard and Wednesday’s weekly The Syracuse New Times contain pages and pages of activities for the week.

When and if I am lost to another location–it won’t be a big deal.  I am just one person.

I am replaceable.

I do believe whoever I am supposed to be with may not be in Syracuse.  It’s been an odd year of dating, self-hating, contemplating, and confusion in the realm of relationships.  There has been a mind boggling wonderment surrounding my inability to settle.  If I were to leave Syracuse, it wouldn’t be to haphazardly meet the woman of my dreams, but for personal success.  The so-called psychic said I would have to move in order to be successful.

However, to compensate for the whatever lack-of dating relationship, I’ve met a significant amount of new people, new friends.  Call it life, but the friends I have kept through the years–speaking of the friends in Central New York–are too busy.  I make plans with them, but then they forget last minute.  I think I was supposed to do dinner with a close buddy of mine a few times in the past few months, but–when I initiate the event double-check–it turns out they this person is already out doing something.  Even my own brother is negligent with contact.

So, if everyone is too busy, and I am doing things on my own, I shouldn’t have too much of an issue venturing out on my own.  I traveled abroad to two non-English speaking countries essentially by myself.  It can be assumed that handling another United States location should be fine.

I’ve been doing a lot more by myself, defining more of a solid individualistic personality.  I still go out of my way for others, especially for old friends, because I give a shit, including attending events they throw (i.e. birthdays or social events) even if they haven’t come to mine; not even for one drink; it could have been a water for all I care.  I’ve come to realize that I am focusing my dedication and attention to the newer friends, because they are reliable, including those with kids.  I attend more local-focused events, which helps my branching out.

This was one of the first things the psychic told me.  Paraphrasing:   “You’re a good friend and you do a lot to try maintaining the friendships of the past; however, they do not reciprocate.  In your heart and mind you would like to see them take more of an interest.”

That shocked me, and it damn near knocked the wind out of me.

I apologize for having a busy schedule.  I’m turning into a significant planner.  Agreeing to things have been less and less, so I can make time for more people, because this is my home and going anywhere anytime soon is not planned.

Plus, a new responsibility has been bestowed to me:  marketing for Syracuse Improv Collective.

And now… a Looney Tunes classic.  Yes, a metaphor.

Comments.... ?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s